Divorce Mediation

Divorce Mediation is a sensible alternative to a traditionally litigated courtroom battle. It is a confidential, voluntary process whereby both spouses negotiate their Agreement together with a neutral mediator in a non-threatening environment. Spouses have no need to enter into a courtroom as all mediations take place in private offices.

The Mediator, often a lawyer with strong counseling skills, guides the couple through the decision making process, supplying them with the legal and/or psychological information necessary to make informed decisions covering all relevant issues in order to reach an Agreement. Sessions, on average, last two to three hours. After reaching an Agreement on issues like child custody, support, and property distribution, the mediator writes up the Agreement in draft form and reviews it with the spouses prior to giving each spouse a final copy. Each party is free, and encouraged, to retain an attorney’s advice, before, during and after the mediation process. The Agreement is binding on both parties once it is signed. Thereafter it is submitted to a Court of law. By creating their own Agreement, couples are more likely to comply with its terms. Statistics show that compliance with mediated Agreements is higher than with court imposed judgments because it is voluntary and based upon mutual satisfaction not by what a Judge perceives as the best interests of the divorcing couple.

We offer a free initial half-hour consultation to discuss the aspects and analyze the needs of your particular case. This meeting will also serve as an opportunity to answer any of your questions and to explain the mediation process. If after the consultation both parties wish to begin mediation they may schedule a session to meet together with the mediator. There may also be individual sessions (caucus sessions) with the mediator when appropriate.

Skeptics of the divorce mediation process typically ask how it is possible for two angry spouses to negotiate with one another. The answer is simple: mediators are trained to help the couple focus on their plans for the future, while helping them separate the emotional issues from their financial decisions. Even the most furious of couples can reach an agreement through mediation.

There are many reasons why couples choose mediation instead of litigation. Mediation is less expensive, quicker and less traumatic on the couple and their children. The mediation process in total may cost the “couple” between $3,000 and $10,000, while traditional litigation can individually cost “each spouse” $20,000 to $100,000. Mediation sessions are scheduled at a couple’s convenience accommodating work schedules, offering evening and weekend hours, and considering each spouse’s financial and emotional needs. In litigation couples schedules are influenced by frequent delays and legal requirements caused by busy Court dockets and Court processes. These delays increase costs, waste time, and create unnecessary stress and anxiety on all members of the divorcing family.

The needs of the children are often overlooked in the chaos of a divorce. Consequently, children may be left to fend for themselves because a parent is depressed or emotionally unavailable. Some children become the scapegoat for their parents' emotional turmoil, while others may actually be forced to assume parental roles. Even worse, children may be used "as spies" to gather information for a parent. In many cases, the children are being manipulated and left with life - long scars. The children often blame themselves for the break-up, feeling enormous guilt and developing irrational fears of loss or rejection.

Mediators, help educate the divorcing couples on how not to place their children in the middle or use them as pawns or prizes. Couples who choose mediation instead of litigation do so, in many instances, not for themselves but for their children. When children are involved, one of the primary goals of mediation is to focus on what is best and least disruptive for them. More importantly, mediation enables the parents to control the decision-making process, using their values and belief systems, rather than have these personal decisions imposed upon them by a Court of law.

Tel: 845.639.1836 E-mail:laredo @carolynlaredo.com